New Year’s Resolutions for the Internet

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Working out, watching longer videos, and other resolutions we probably won’t keep.

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New Year’s Resolutions For the Internet: Station Conversation

Liz Shannon Miller, December 31, 2008 No comments

As 2008 comes to a close, Liz Shannon Miller and Jill Weinberger look forward to improving themselves and the Internet in the New Year. Find out their New Year’s resolutions and their recommendations for others in online video in today’s Station Conversation!

Liz: Happy New Year, Jill!

Jill: Happy New Year! You’re ready for all the revelry?

Liz: Yes! And I have a New Year’s resolution to kick things off: I resolve to give web series that are longer than five minutes more of a chance. I have long been a cranky lady about 10-minute episodes, but how much of that is due to my innate laziness is yet to be determined. So I’m going to learn to sit still for slightly longer. It’s a challenge, but one I’m up for. How about you?

Jill: I am going to work out and become a badass. And how is this relevant to online video, you ask? Because I am going to do so using the online videos of Ford Model Chris Comfort!

Liz: Wow, Chris Comfort got his start in 2007! Is he STILL making workout videos?

Jill: Yeah, well, everything old is new again. And why shouldn’t I have something pretty to look at while I work out? Look — abs.

Liz: Any other resolutions? Maybe for other people?

Jill: Oh. Well, I have come to a sad conclusion. I think Buck of What the Buck Show needs to cut back on the caffeine in the coming year. I was watching his episode about celebrating New Year’s with Miley Cyrus, and I think I saw smoke coming off the sides of his head. If he explodes, THEN where will we be?

Liz: We’ll be reduced to Perez Hilton, and that’s just not a good plan.

Jill: Ew! Can I resolve for Perez to disappear?

Liz: That seems overly cruel. Perhaps you could resolve for him to grow a conscience?

Jill: Well, I didn’t want to disappear him as a verb, in the Mafia sense. I just wanted him off the Internet. But OK, conscience, fine.

Liz: Meanwhile, my resolution for Sarah Palin is to spend the next year without appearing in any online video. Because nothing goes well for her when she does.

Jill: Oh, sweet mercy, yes. I would also like to see some of the people who exclusively do work based on other people’s work — i.e. fanvids, music videos populated by World of Warcraft characters, etc — do original work. Some of those people are really talented and should let themselves into the spotlight.

Liz: Yes. I mean, I love what they do, but at the very least it would be a refreshing challenge for them. And speaking of the Internet in general, I don’t think it would be the end of the world if those uploading to YouTube started being just a little ashamed of using cleavage-filled thumbnails. I’m not asking them to stop. I’m just asking them to take a moment while posting and ask, “Is this really necessary?

Jill: Well, some of those videos with the cleavage thumbnail, the whole video is a girl with her cleavage in the camera, so…

Liz: OK, fair enough. Let’s settle for this. Let us all resolve, in the new year, to be nice to each other. Even when commenting anonymously on YouTube.

Jill: Hmmm. I was not informed of a niceness clause before I signed on. But I would say, at least, when commenting anonymously on YouTube, treat people at least as well as you would in a comment with your name on it. Baby steps.

Liz: That’s a good rule of thumb.

Jill: We’ll save complete niceness as a goal for 2010.

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NewTeeVee’s latest project, launched in June 2008, is NewTeeVee Station, an editorially-driven guide to quality online video. Want to find something good to watch? Want to get the lowdown on something all the kids are talking about, like “Soulja Boy” or combining Mentos and Diet Coke? Want to meet the rising stars of the new age of television before they get huge? NewTeeVee Station is your cheat sheet, cataloging the world of web video with an engaging voice and a critical eye. It’s also a community site, giving you increased power to express what you like, what you don’t, and what else you want to watch.

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