Penguins vs. Pandas: Station Conversation

Even amongst friends, differences of opinion may arise. And in today’s Station Conversation, Jill Weinberger and Liz Shannon Miller find that their beliefs regarding which endangered species make for the most adorable viral video are different indeed.

Liz: Jill, I’ve been hearing you spread rumors recently, about which animal was the cutest on YouTube and the word PANDA didn’t come up. I think we need to have a discussion.

Jill: A discussion about how PENGUINS are the best animal to grab everyone’s hearts, disseminate the message of your choice, and establish world peace? I’d love to.

Liz: Hmm. Well, we’re off to an awkward start, what with you being so very wrong and all.

Jill: Yeah, because of that giant documentary hit March of the Pandas. What was I thinking? That Morgan Freeman sure loves him some pandas. Oh, wait…no he doesn’t.

Liz: Yeah, because all those penguin live streams…wait, no, only pandas get live streams. No one cares what penguins are doing on a moment-to-moment basis.

Jill: Well, that’s cause penguins are off marching and what have you and aren’t sitting on their fat, furry bottoms posing for photo ops.

Liz: Fat, furry ADORABLE bottoms. That’s it. I challenge you to a duel. Pick your three finest penguin videos, and I shall pick my three finest panda videos, and we will see which is the cutest. Are you ready?

Jill: Bring it!

Liz: I am starting with a viral classic. It’s already gotten 30 million views, and it never stops being awesome.

Jill: That’s your big opener? A panda having a snack who needs a Benadryl? I scoff at you.

Liz: Fine, what do you have that’s so great?

Jill: I have a penguin that can ESCAPE KILLER WHALES! You have to watch to the end to see how proud of himself he is.

Liz: OK, I do like his little hippty-hop around the edge of the boat, but that’s not quite destroying the time/cute barrier. The thing with the sneezing baby panda is that it is small and tiny but makes a BIG NOISE.

Are you ready for round two? Because I am ready for round two. What I love about this video is that when you find out how small a space panda can fit into you realize that they are just pure, soft, cuddly fluff.

Jill: I do like the other panda’s reaction. But in response, I have a question for you — can pandas be cute even when they are murderous? ‘Cause penguins can.

Liz: This penguin just seems grumpy. I identify more with the chicks, sadly.

Jill: I think any animal you can come out liking after it’s killed another baby animal has something special going for it.

Liz: OK, round three. Welcome to Panda Fight Club. If this is your first night at Panda Fight Club, you have to fight.

Jill: Yeah, I would watch this fight over and over before rewatching the pandas rolling around.

Liz: They all seem so mean! That penguin knocked the other one down!

Jill: Uh, yeah. That’s how you win a fight. It just looks meaner ’cause it’s on ice instead of a meadow and because you are a squishy-hearted panda preferrer. You’re an unobjective fluffophile, is what you are.

Liz: Yes. I admit it proudly. And I think if you add up the viewcounts, you’ll find that online video viewers agree with me. There are reasons, of course. There’s no shortage of adorable panda footage because pandas live in zoos and move pretty slowly. Meanwhile, penguins live in the wild and have more zip. But perhaps as pandas become less endangered and the peril of the penguin grows due to global warming, their popularity might also rise. Perhaps their appeal has much to do with that danger.

Jill: In the end, though, you know we’re both fighting a losing battle. When you open it up to all animals, I’m pretty sure kittens take it for the win every time.