Jerry Seinfeld + Microsoft = BFFs: Station Conversation

Jerry Seinfeld earned $10 million for appearing in the new Microsoft ad campaign, which shows founder Bill Gates reconnecting with “the common people” at the mall and in their homes. But are these ads effective rebranding for the stodgy CEO/operating system? In today’s Station Conversation, Liz Shannon Miller and special guest star Paul Cibis discuss whether or not Microsoft is doomed to always be uncool.

Liz: So, Paul, are you watching the new Microsoft ad now?

Paul: I’m a minute-and-a-half in and I’m still not sure what this is an ad for.

Liz: The ads are for nothing. They are to make Microsoft cool again.

Paul: When did Bill Gates become an old man?

Liz: Around the same time Jerry Seinfeld got a bit of a beer belly.

Paul: So this is just, like, an image rebuilding campaign?

Liz: Either that or Bill Gates wanted an excuse to pay Jerry Seinfeld $10 million to be his friend.

Paul: I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to buy. Why won’t the ad just tell me what to buy?

Liz: MICROSOFT. Buy it. Buy its stock. Buy its T-shirts. Perhaps, if you’re really desperate, buy its operating system.

Paul: Do I have to buy Vista or can I buy an old copy of XP?

Liz: It must be NEW.

Paul: Grrrr.

Liz: Don’t you understand, Paul? Microsoft is reaching out to you. It knows what you like. You like YouTube, and video games, and the wry observations of Jerry Seinfeld.

Paul: Apparently I like two aging billionaires.

Liz: Yes. Admit it, give in, and hand over your Mac G5. To me, preferably.

Paul: Wired had a story a while back about the guy who did the Subservient Chicken stuff being hired to make some cool ads for Microsoft. Is this part of that? Oh, yes, it is.

Liz: So what do you actually think of the campaign?

Paul: Again, I’m not sure what the point is. If this is Microsoft’s attempt to make themselves cool or relevant, I think it misses the mark.

Liz: You don’t think the ads are funny?

Paul: Yeah, they’re funny, but so were the Jerry Seinfeld/Cartoon Superman American Express ads 10 years ago.

Liz: There is something very 1990s about the whole thing. Though I just instinctively react to the sight of Jerry Seinfeld by wondering where I’ve put my flannel shirt and Alanis Morissette albums.

Paul: I think it was smart of MS to not wade too far into the deep end of the cool pool (they would have drowned), but I don’t think this campaign goes far enough, either.

Liz: It does a nice job of hanging a lantern on the fact that Bill Gates as a person — and Microsoft as a corporate entity — have lost touch.

Paul: Gates is my favorite part of these ads. You’ve got two super-rich guys who have an image of living in semi-seclusion in walled-off compounds. But Gates spends his seclusion thinking about how to perfect technologies that connect people and (ostensibly) make life easier. Seinfeld spends his seclusion buying and not driving luxury automobiles. Despite being the straight man in these ads (and the far richer of the two rich guys), I actually feel more of a connection to Gates.

Liz: Well, he’s playing into his “average nerd” persona, whereas Seinfeld is just slipping back into his Seinfeld rhythms. It’s a much broader performance.

Paul: And Seinfeld’s shtick is sort of hollow now that he lives in a huge compound next to Martha Stewart’s huge compound.

Liz: Yeah, I agree. It’s hard to really sell something by complaining about the mundanities of life when you have enough money to make every single one of them go away.

Paul: The question I have is, who is this supposed to appeal to? The original point of the ads was touted as making MS hip, but by casting the biggest comedy stars in the world, they seem to be aimed at the broadest possible audience. And that’s not hip. Even if it is funny.

Liz: They’re taking baby steps towards being cool, though. You have to know who Jerry Seinfeld is before you can know who Demetri Martin is. What I like about the ads is that they carry a very strong undercurrent of, “Look, we know you don’t like us anymore, but baby, please, we can change.” They’re admitting it, embracing it as a concept, and moving forward. I don’t know where we’re going, but there’s an element of humility to the campaign that’s worth applauding.

Though you’ll never see the reverse on this, where Seinfeld is taught to be relevant again.

Paul: Well, who could tackle that Sisyphean task?

Liz: Seriously. Deceased Mitch Hedberg is more relevant these days.

Paul: I like the humility angle of these ads, but the problem is it’s hard to believe that humility is sincere when it’s coming from a mega-monopoly that essentially forces people to use their operating system.

Liz: The only alternatives to which are becoming a dirty Linux hippie or giving in to that other operating system with a near monopoly.

Paul: Apple might have a near monopoly on the digital music player market, but hardly in the hardware or OS market. That’s what allows them to be the hipster cool kids. Hip and cool come from exclusivity.

Liz: So you think Microsoft will always and forever be uncool?

Paul: Kind of, yes. You can’t ever be that cool when you’re king of the mountain. Microsoft has lost touch. They got huge and bloated and stopped innovating, which is what allowed guys like Apple and Google to catch up. It’s fun to see them acknowledge that, but I’d rather seem them make an OS that’s not a pain in my nuts to use. Make a next-gen OS that looks pretty AND actually works. Then we can talk about them reconnecting with consumers.

Liz: Is there anyone you think could convince you that they were cool, though?

Paul: That’s a tough question. I doubt it. Without cool and innovative products to back it up, these ads are just window dressing.

Liz: But isn’t that what being cool is? Awesome window dressing?

Paul: It’s got to be more than that. Window dressing is just attitude, and if can’t back up that attitude with something then it’s just empty posturing. You’re a poseur.

Liz: So what you’re saying is that this is the viral ad equivalent of Dane Cook.

Paul: Yes. These ads might have been cooler if they’d gotten Stephen Colbert to do them, but I’m pretty sure he’s a Mac user.

Liz: As are all the greats.

Paul: Picasso was a Mac user. So was Beethoven.

Liz: Hemingway wasn’t, but Hemingway was kind of a dick.

Paul: He used a PC loaded with Windows Vista. And that’s why he killed himself.