Jonas Brothers, Winning Hearts and Minds With YouTube

It’s amazing how out of the loop you can end up being when you don’t watch MTV — but even I have been well aware of the Jonas Brothers, the latest phenomenon from the Disney factory, thanks to their viral success on YouTube. Of course, I didn’t actually KNOW anything about them, and in idle moments I’d ask myself questions like, “How’d they get their start? Are they actual brothers? How old are they? Can they actually sing?” But all ignorance must come to an end eventually, and so I sat down today to answer all my questions. (Christian pop, they are brothers, 20, 18, 15, and no, not really.)

I already knew that they were cute, young and funny, and that their slightly amateurish shorts were pretty enjoyable — if I were in their target demographic, I’d probably be a big fan. Liz Gannes beat me to the Hanson 2.0 comparison, but it’s extremely apt in this case, as the band has mastered the worlds of social networking and online video.

Currently featured on the band’s official YouTube page is the latest music video, Burnin’ Up, a send-up of classic action genres, all of which are older in origin than the boys themselves. Because Disney doesn’t kid around when it comes to this sort of thing, the execution is great, and Joe Jonas combing his Miami Vice-style ’stache is only one of its many highlights.

But the bulk of the videos on their channel feature the boys not singing, but instead giving their fans staged looks at their everyday lives. For their YouTube sketches, the Jonas Brothers have assembled an odd supporting cast, including the Queen of England and the aptly named Big Rob — Big Rob is ostensibly the boys’ bodyguard, but fills more of a driver/straight man role in these videos. He even occasionally busts into a rap solo, which seems like a really poor bodyguarding strategy. I mean, do members of the Secret Service let down their guard every once in a while to freestyle some domestic policy for the President? (Wait, maybe they do. That would explain a lot.)

The boys also use the channel to communicate directly with their audience, announcing contests and promoting their sponsors. Their latest three-part sketch features a plot line recycled from the Aerosmith Rockin’ Rollercoaster at Disney MGM Studios — the band has to get to the gig on time! — but instead of a roller coaster, the boys are riding in Chevy’s hybrid SUV. It’s an odd choice of sponsors, given that the Jonas Brothers audience isn’t even legal to drive yet, but that doesn’t stop Nick, Joe and Kevin from selling the hell out of their product.

The way in which Disney shellacs its teen stars for public consumption has always seemed a little creepy. But the sad truth is that I laughed once or twice in the course of researching their antics. And I guess I’m happy that in these sex-crazed Gossip Girl latter days, there are still famous young people who aren’t doin’ it all the time. Honestly, if I were a parent I’d probably be a lot happier knowing that my 12-year-old was obsessed with these kids than, say, the brats from Laguna Beach. But it’d be great if there was some sort of middle ground, some teenage icon who wasn’t either a fundamentalist Christian or a hypersexed drama queen. Perhaps that’s too much to ask for, though — after all, adolescence is all about extremes.

I honestly wonder what will happen to the Jonas Brothers down the line — getting answers for my first set of questions has only led me to ask more. Will their brand of “pop-punk” (which, by the way, is an oxymoron, not a genre of music) be able to survive when the music industry completely implodes? Will their claims to pre-marital purity be crumbled by a sex scandal? Will Joe Jonas ever know who I am? (I’m a sucker for fake mustaches.) My guesses? Yes, yes, and probably not. But a girl, adolescent or not, can always dream.