lonelygirl15: The Story in 300 Words

I was always a bit of a lonelygirl15 n00b, having lacked the commitment to really engage with the series’ complex storytelling. But in honor of the show’s end last Friday, I thought it’d be interesting to try and write a quick synopsis of the entire saga. Two days and 20 open Safari tabs later, I realized that this was easier said than done, given the series’ dense mythology, endless twists and turns, and many unanswered questions. However, with the help of the lgpedia, recap videos, and some fact-checking by lonelygirl15 expert Jenni Powell, I think I managed to get a handle on it. So for those who want to know the mysteries of one of the web’s most seminal series, keep reading.

And — though it goes without saying — SPOILER ALERT!

A girl named Bree, friendless except for not-boyfriend Daniel, starts posting vlogs to YouTube, dropping references to her Aleister Crowley-influenced religion, which is preparing her for a “Ceremony.” Bree goes on the run with Daniel to escape the Ceremony and takes refuge with Jonas, another vlogger with connections to “The Order,” the conspiracy behind the Ceremony. They try and get more information, but Jonas and Daniel get kidnapped by the Order. To save them, Bree trades herself for them. Before she can be rescued in time, she goes through the Ceremony, and dies as a result. This makes Daniel, Jonas and the other attractive young people they’ve befriended sad.

Afterwards, there’s a lot more digging up dirt on the Order, getting kidnapped by the Order, rescuing each other from the Order, drinking, hooking up, denying that they’ve hooked up, betraying each other to the Order and more hooking up. Lots of people get killed, including at Fake 80s Prom. Eventually it is revealed that Bree and other girls used in the Ceremony are said to be “trait positive” — their blood has special powers that, when transfused, gives members of the Order extra life. These girls are descended from the Egyptian fertility goddess Hathor. They may or may not have special powers.

In the story’s last chapter, Jonas is kidnapped (it seriously happens a lot) and held on a boat, where, per the instructions of a Crowley prophecy, he’s to be “destroyed upon the holy day of sacrifice.” But instead he’s rescued by the others — though, on their way out, Jonas is unable to save one last girl from being Ceremony-ized. At the end, Daniel, Jonas and allies Sarah, Taylor, Jennie and Spencer end up on a beach in Mexico. Both Jonas and Daniel ditch their friends — they’re done with this.